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Realicide Rex

Oblivion LP

by Dreams In Hell

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    Download sales go directly to Realicide Youth Records for the costly DIY production of this album, and other contemporary punk media, in 12" record and CD formats. Lyrics included in download, write to chiroptophilia@gmail.com about getting the zine of printed artwork that accompanies this music, or order the LP from realicide.com (deathrock DJ's also get in touch for free trax)
    2013 Dark Ceremony "Goth's not dead... sike."
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1.
TOMORROW WAS A HEAVEN wishing is a child's hell waking up on bedroom floor, could have been two minutes, could have been days days do turn to weeks, and crippled years do limp by in some stubborn lust for depression for every star I've grown to admit I cannot reach within the extent of my capacity truly for an end to whoever I've desired to be beautiful savor of regret a default world I never sought out a world I was terrified to define the intimate clutch of a darkened heart immolated by the kamikaze dream of love dream of love... crying violently against an abyss of insincerity trapped in a vast web of defanged words the absolute absence of absolute ironic amidst a labyrinth of dogma insecurities of a wretched world where I notice alcohol is... our god of control, our god of sorrow trapped in the callous palm (blinding vices) = god of control / god of sorrow a default world I never sought out a world I was terrified to define the intimate clutch of a darkened heart immolated by the kamikaze dream of love see me dying violently in this mass grave of insincerity dead in the center of that web of defanged words the absolute absence of absolute ultimately is it the one true unflinching law and I pretend I haven't noticed and like I live for her world... tomorrow was a childhood bliss for me an endless shimmering ocean of what I was meant to be tomorrow was a heaven, tomorrow was a heaven great prophesied release from the tribulations I know today... where society is a cloak of thorns where lovers become the wounds that will not heal a forced sacrifice now sustained by the carnal succulence of hurt mind's eye glimpse of serene and all engulfing introversion - that was me and the awful eclipsing mania as I'm pulling myself from it again why did I wake up again - NO miserable blur of a life beautiful savor of regret miserable blur of a life entropy of a lying world ...I undress and expect your scent on my own skin burning want, die to death in so much pain...
2.
DYING UNDER THE GREEN LIGHT though you scald my mind I'd do it on my own anyway I know in my bed with your back to me when I'm with you I feel so alone you're the reason I want alcohol after I give you all I got do you really care at all when yesterday is a scar on my mind and now I'm pissed about tomorrow what am I supposed to learn why am I supposed to live on and on and on it seems supposed to get through it but I feel it killing me! look back at a million yesterdays and I'm drowning in the mistakes I've made 300 years coming in a cold cold world heartless and callous where prayers are cruel jokes ritual of idiotic hopes, tradition of perpetual addiction to sorrow under the green light the sun comes up but I'm so far away now... what am I supposed to learn why am I supposed to live on and on and on it seems supposed to get through it but I feel it killing me! waiting aching in a constant fever wondering am I gonna die? fuck yeah I wanna die! RIGHT NOW! (a dirty white Alien Sex Fiend shirt almost transparent with just your tan skin calling beneath long brown hair and wide inviting eyes ...still splintered glances at your face, each moment I possibly can now just a beautiful echo) for myself a memory that cannot be taken away for myself a memory that cannot be taken away 11th hour - allure of coma - HEY! so tell me what am I supposed to learn and why am I supposed to live on and on and on it seems supposed to get through it but I feel it killing me! ...are my faults my identity doors opening in dark rooms leading to other dark rooms lifelong waiting in awe of the night I die dreams I can't remember no photograph, just vaporous memories interwoven with mad delusions vision of tasting your tears, wanting them to be real more than a dream I can't remember...
3.
DROWNING IN EXISTENCE forget another moment, hour, month, life, forget choke on my own name and crippled by thoughts decades day by day just more ways to say the same one world feeling like a straight up crown of thorns you see beautiful nightmare of desolation threat vicious romantic nights of my love / my curse monomaniac undead scraping raw all that I known... in those same shadows of my mind I'll see you there adopt your name - speak obsession ready to write it, say it, remember it, admit perfect nightmare zone - maze of nightmares would you love me truly when I'm dead would you still love me when I finally quit "what was his name anyway" give up the dream I can keep - give up the dream I can remember like falling in love ancient youthful archaic dream I can keep the dream I can remember like falling in love drowning in existence... beautiful nightmare of desolation threat vicious romantic nights of my love / my curse monomaniac undead scraping raw all that I known no more looking back, to hell with the consequences in those same shadows of my mind I'll see you there adopt your name - speak obsession ready to write it, say it, remember it, admit perfect nightmare zone - maze of nightmares I'd really like to know it another way drowning in existence...
4.
GarGoyle ALIEN my face feels like a wound on the verge of pouring blood tomb of my own devices waking up without... waking up without... waking up without... eutats elttil leurc sdrow detsaw lolita in the batcave engaged to be buried sodomy in an early grave cut an X into my head, CUT AN X INTO MY HEAD! and I'm tasting your green skin on my tongue as I tie you down all I ever wanted in my wildest nightmares tasting your green skin in my teeth as I chain you down try to grip so tight but I'm waking up insane now I'm tasting your green skin on my tongue as I tie you down you're all I ever wanted in my wildest nightmares tasting your green skin in my teeth as I chain you down try to grip so tight but I'm waking up insane now lolita in the batcave engaged to be buried sodomy in an early grave cut an X into my head, CUT AN X INTO MY HEAD! and I'm tasting your green skin on my tongue as I tie you down all I ever wanted in my wildest nightmares tasting your green skin in my teeth as I chain you down try to grip so tight but I'm waking up insane now I'm tasting your green skin on my tongue as I tie you down you're all I ever wanted in my wildest nightmares tasting... (wasted words) TASTING... (no no no) and I'm gripping so tight but I'm waking up insane now (I feel like I'll wear this decrepit Christian Death shirt until the day I die...) my beloved baby gargoyle, callous but incredible... EUTATS ELTTIL LEURC
5.
PERPETUAL FUNERAL no more loneliness... no more songs to remember... no more pictures or words in my mind... full circle depression beat the fuck out me again numb mind perpetual funeral mind rotten same dream of rejection, a world to leave me weakened feeling destined to lose what is left destroyed until dead I don't want to lose you so soon I say this curse remembering obsessions past assigning them such frightening... make myself sick just waiting for you fuck it up, fuck it up bad, it's just a game I'm gonna lose didn't mean to need you this way, I swear I've tried but it's no use wrong place, wrong time, wrong hell to walk into I don't want to lose you so soon I say this curse remembering obsessions past assigning them such frightening worth (ALMOST) no more loneliness... no more songs to remember... no more pictures or words in my mind... I don't want to lose you so soon I say this curse remembering obsessions past assigning them such frightening... (know that when it may seem sweet or strange I will love you to the extent of my being nothing less matters to someone who feels they will die each day I can give you nothing less perhaps love can save me yet, after I have failed myself) the relief of death perfect in its natural inevitability its unspoken lustful relation to happiness death, the most beautifully ultimate change ...moments and their assigned holiness falling through our fingers...
6.
ANGEL OF PAIN ...memory like a shadow cast by flickering silver candlesticks happy birthday from your broken yet adoring Peter Pan up all night looming anxious as that image unfolds of my mysterious giggling teenage succubus with stenciled clothing the warm tight grip on each of those otherwise frozen empty nights and the scent I clung to achingly every night in between the schemes, the bad jokes, the cold uphill walks you are the sanctuary of green light you are the laying within it counting each bat on the wall you are the burning hate and disgust I am begging mad and helpless until each time it crumbles away leaving only this hopeless love and desire unbreakable, invincible... (my Lolita and my friend) entranced and obsessed and unbreakable... (sacrifice in hell) past the smoke and mirrors of every unwanted tomorrow my innocent muse my tough as nails living dead pornographer wild oblivion that hung over the edges of my imagination sacred archetype made flesh my lovebite that must never heal (I made certain it will not) reason to celebrate against the depression of dreams made trash my reason not to be dull and pray there will always be more in me more romantic ways to make you scream as I'm crawling further into the pit more hours buried in bed and waves of vicious energy to spend on hair to pull and skin to strike and awful embraces to lick because if it is of you then it is what I want my own teenage fantasy my wrenchingly impossible dream I hold my breath for one more minute, hour, day, month my innocent muse! my tough as nails living dead pornographer wild oblivion! that hung over the edges of my imagination when I was a kid I love you like a childhood fantasy of deviant lust I love you YES if it turns out you're a disease because through enduring you I can be made stronger... PAIN... angel of pain... angel of pain... angel of pain! it's a movie you can't see on TV a leather whip in your mouth it's a tarantula's web around your favorite LP it's another bottle of cheap wine in a field of fireflies it's a threatening phone call and a bag of ice - another late night ride many more long walks home in the dark a date at midnight in Spring Grove Cemetery sobering now I want to feel it when I hold you hope that you remember all the things that I told you - PAIN angel of pain, my angel of pain I know these are just words but they aren't for anybody else and they're the best I got for my angel of pain, angel of pain happy birthday wherever you may be
7.
YOU CAN FORGET I had a dream today I was thrown away like garbage and every word I said came out like trash as I poured my heart, my blood, my mind, my life out from behind locked doors it was smashed rejection rejection out of fear - see my eyes - I'm addicted to hell and around every corner what you wanna do but dream of solutions rejection rejection year by year - addicted to depression - can't you tell and I dream of stepping up and breaking out but what a delusion I had a dream last night you told me I was worthless well not long ago I felt like I could be anything but that you said "I don't care what you thought you saw or what you thought you heard before" you said "nothing is supposed to last, I'll make sure it stays like that" rejection rejection out of fear - see my eyes - I'm addicted to hell and around every corner what you wanna do but dream of solutions rejection rejection year by year - addicted to depression - can't you tell I dream of stepping up and breaking out I need a solution nightmare of rejection... I lost my home, I lost my band, I lost my lover, my best friend and I don't think my life will ever be the same again they tell me that tomorrow I won't care, the wounds will heal but now my life's a scar at best more like a scab on a bat on my chest there's not much in this world that gives me joy without a lie and when the joy in life is gone for good I won't stay here just to cry secretly I'm going to the most distant forest I can find with a lot of pills and vodka, because after all this life is mine I've thought about the hopes and plans my heart lived for in stronger days and if it matters that I've done these things before I've gone away will I look back at this world with regret? no, I will cease to be, and you won't find my body so you can forget... you can forget... you can just forget...
8.
DEDICATED TO THE IMPOSSIBLE if you let me know you I'll accept whatever I find... I know enough about loneliness to last a long lifetime now find me in this struggle to end a war with existence divert me from this questioning of the inherent value in life to see your face, hear your voice, feel your tender embrace to be filled with an awe and hope rumored to have died and gone away to challenge the ultimate state of aloneness that is otherwise such merciless law know that I do love you, beyond anticipation and affectionate strategy know that you have truly touched my heart, if even for a moment without explanation or allegiance to a future I do love you... rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone like a leper in the shadows - UNCLEAN rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone girl a leper in the shadows - impossible, impossible, impossible "in heaven everything is fine" feel your hands on my body for the first time finally my thoughts are no longer a loud engulfing howl of pain... howl of pain... you hate yourself when you touch me, that one time one taste regret nothing but it was a chance to look you in the eyes like I was fourteen again... again... rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone like a leper in the shadows - UNCLEAN rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone girl a leper in the shadows - impossible, impossible, impossible ...sorry forever, sorry forever apologize, apologize for tasting my deformity only did it once drunk and you'll be sorry forever, sorry forever rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone like a leper in the shadows - UNCLEAN rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone girl a leper in the shadows - impossible, impossible, impossible the sweetest words I can string together crumble into dust as I'm pushed away back into a world of strangers, left knowing I'm not worth it knowing I'm not worth it, left knowing I'm not worth it rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone like a leper in the shadows - UNCLEAN rejected - regretted I'm the rat with disease you better never ever touch you better let me rot away alone girl a leper in the shadows, a leper in the shadows, a leper in the shadows impossible
9.
NO SLAVE TO TOMORROW ...and I don't know how to start whether it's living or dying or making things different... paralyzed - once again same fucked song but now I'm slow to sing it expiration dates on lovers and friends wasting my voice in a fool's oblivion fuck this mortal coil I don't make the rules and I wish I did not know them damned to exist damned to pretend that I still care what happens ...damned to exist just a drunk voice in a fool's oblivion so I find myself hating the idea of tomorrow if it's got even remote resemblance of today if it has even a memory of what it is to live this way so tired and I've found my limits today I know... I got your name on my heart and a better world on fire in my mind in dreams I fucking walk with you just survive cos I'm tired as the months limp by your name has become a suicide note on my skin your name - on fire in my mind begging to turn it off off off OFF I don't care how, just let me die and I find myself hating the idea of tomorrow if it's got even remote resemblance of today if it has even a memory of what it is to live this way so tired and I've found my limits today I know... ...and I don't know how to end it whether it's living or dying or making things different a long long winter of both kept and broken promises echo dulls but still remains my mind is a hell now I find myself hating the idea of tomorrow if it's got even a memory of what it is to live this way I'm tired and I've found my limits today I know so tired and I've found my limits today I know... no slave to tomorrow ...from the immaculate oblivion to which I am destined, in final immolation beyond romance, my most vulnerably dedicated words I leave for you to Do What Thou Wilt

about

Cincylvania's unforgivable void of DEATHROCK relieved by goth punk nosferdudes Dreams In Hell with their debut album Oblivion. Written throughout Robert Inhuman's 300th year on a trifling mortal coil, comprised of Dark Ceremony DIY goth parties, including benefit event for Bat Conservation International, and seemingly endless nights of crying inconsolably at the crippling regret that is enduring a world of unflinching defaults and questionable sincerity. Jerry of Vacation and Tweens on bass, Dustin of White Walls and Abduction on guitar, the one and only Duke Paranormal on drums, vox (including backwards Twin Peaks style) by Robert Inhuman, backing vox by Ving Creature, mastered by Mavis Concave. 19 September 2013, 300 LP, 500 CD, full color jacket with accompanying zine of artwerk and vinyl sticker.
Dark Ceremony (DARK#3)
Realicide Youth Records (CIDE#77)

credits

released September 19, 2013

written/recorded 2012-2013 in Cincylvania
for Dark Ceremony DIY goth sub-label of
Realicide Youth Records (CIDE#77)
Robert Inhuman: vox, keyz, all wordz, artwerk
Jeromeo (Jerry Westerkamp): bass, backing vox
Dark Ness (Dustin Bingaman): guitar
Duke Paranormal (Luke Stegall): drumz
additional backing vox by Ving Creature
produced DIY by the above Nosferadudes
mastered by Mavis Concave

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Dreams In Hell Cincinnati, Ohio

Cincylvanian DIY goth punx, damned to a trifling mortal coil since 2012, featuring Robert Inhuman (of Realicide, Decide Today), Jeromeo (of Vacation, Tweens), Dark Ness (of White Walls, Abduction), Duke Paranormal (of Siblings, Googly Eyes) CONTACT chiroptophilia@gmail.com ... more

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